Men anpil chay pa lou

Many hands make the load light. - Haitian proverb

The other day at work, one of our clients (who happened to be hungover) stumbled over to the coffee pot and grumbled,

"Wow. Someone else besides me made coffee. I'm the only one who ever makes coffee."

He's not. Usually he's just the only one who wants a pot of coffee at 3 o'clock in the afternoon.

But it made me think about how often I grumble about being the "only one who ever..." It's especially tempting in community. If you were living by yourself, of course you would be the only one who ever cleaned the oven, took out the trash, made dinner. In community, you share the burden. But for some reason, instead of being appreciative about having people to share the burden with, it becomes easier to notice when someone isn't carrying their load. And to begin to pat yourself on the back and remind yourself about how you are the "only one who ever..." For some reason, its harder to notice that you are the "only one who never..."

For instance, I love to cook. I hate doing dishes. I know this. I shirk dish duty more than I should. And I know that if I lived alone, I would just suck it up and do my own dishes. Community is a blessing and a temptation. The blessing of sharing the load, the temptation to shift your share onto someone else.

I wish I could say that I've gotten better at this, but I don't think I have. Maybe I step up a little more often, but I still get pouty when I think I'm working harder. Maybe that's what they should tell us during orientation:

"Yes, you will be, without a doubt, the person who does the most work in your house. You will be the only one who does the dishes, the only one who never leaves their dishes. You will never be loud at night, and your job will probably be the hardest. Good for you, now get over yourself."

Disclaimer: All my housemates are great, and I think we do a really good job with our chores. (Overall, anyway). I'm just saying this is something I know I've been tempted by often!